How do you rate? 10 traits of positive parenting

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(BPT) - Many parents joke that kids don’t come with instructions, but the truth is, being a parent is challenging at times. Parents who decide to parent in a positive way share a number of specific traits that help them get through the good times, and the not-so-good, so their families can thrive.

“Every parent is different, but no matter their background or beliefs, certain traits are consistent between parents that focus on staying positive,” says Donna Hunt O’Brien, an expert in early child development and Director of Training, Curriculum & Program Innovation at <a href="http://www.parentsasteachers.org/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Parents as Teachers</a>. “By using these positive parenting traits as guidelines for your own family, you can develop a closer bond with your children and teach them to respect themselves and others.”

<strong>Dedicate time to really understand your child

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Get to know your child better by dedicating one-on-one time every day. Spend time reading, playing, and simply observing. You’ll be surprised just how much you learn about your little one’s unique personality and abilities when you take pause and focus.

<strong>Provide safe ways for your child to explore

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A child’s mind is like a sponge absorbing sights, sounds, and textures of the new world around him. Support this exploration by providing safe ways for your child to learn. Music, toys, and puzzles made specifically for children are great, but safe, everyday objects and experiences, like holding a wooden spoon and watching dad cook, are fantastic as well.

<strong>Stay calm when the unexpected happens

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Parenting is full of surprises pretty much every day. When the unexpected happens, it’s important to stay calm. Whether it’s a big, messy accident or a scraped knee, kids need support from the people they trust most: their parents. Ensure your child that the situation is OK and that you’re not upset. Communicate what will happen next and how you can fix the problem together.

<strong>Gently redirect children toward desired behaviors</strong>

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Kids misbehave and often it’s not intentional. Help them learn right from wrong by communicating what is expected and gently redirect them to the desired behavior. Remember to lead by example — when you leave your things in the hallway and don’t eat healthy, kids will follow suit.

<strong>Be consistent and follow through with routines

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Follow through with your plans or expectations with dignity and respect for your child. Children love to know what to expect, which is why they thrive with routines. From getting out the door in the morning, to eating meals, to bedtime, embrace routines for your family.

<strong>Talk frequently

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Communication is a foundational element of positive parenting, so talk with your child throughout the day. For babies, this helps them learn important first words, and they may even babble back to you. For big kids, this helps them further their language skills and learn how to convey feelings, wants, and needs to you in a positive manner.

<strong>Involve children in daily tasks

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Children are natural imitators and learn by watching their parents. Involve your child in daily tasks. Take time to teach your child what you are doing in a way she’ll understand, and allow her to help you.

<strong>Appreciate effort

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Support your child’s growth by appreciating her efforts to do things on her own, even if the results are less than perfect. So when she comes downstairs proud she dressed herself, but her shirt is on backwards, praise her rather than immediately pointing out the mistake.

<strong>Model positive ways to show emotions</strong>

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Give your child your full attention when she shares her feelings, either verbally or behaviorally. Be patient; your child is learning how to show her emotions in acceptable ways, so think carefully before you punish your child for misbehavior. Then model positive ways to show emotions so that she can imitate you in the future. Remember, it’s difficult to ask your child to control her behavior if you lose your temper and can’t control yours.

<strong>Take time out for you</strong>

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Being a parent is a full time job and taking care of an infant or young child is no small feat. Get as much rest as you can, eat healthy meals, and have a support network to lean on. Make time, even 10 minutes a day, just for you. And if you feel like you’re losing control, get help from your doctor or local childhood education network. There are many programs to help parents. Visit <a target="_blank" href="http://www.parentsasteachers.org/location" rel="nofollow">www.parentsasteachers.org/location</a> to learn more.

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