Please read this...This week: How 'bout a mindless rant?

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<p class="p1">Goodness gracious. How can it be October already? What happened to the first nine months of 2015? </p><p class="p1">I don't even have my Christmas shopping done yet. Fortunately, I've still got something like 85 shopping days, or approximately 7,344,000 seconds, left until Christmas. That is good, especially with such a pressure-packed schedule.</p><p class="p1">This week, we're going to pretend like we're on talk radio and share a mindless, insufferable rant. Enjoy.</p><p class="p1">Hopefully, by the time that you read this, Trafficjamarammageddon will have reached its merciful end. And the 12 million vehicles which seem to have descended on the four-way stop in downtown Anna like some sort of Old Testament vehicular plague will have found someplace else to go.</p><p class="p1">For those of you who don't get out much, the past couple of weeks have been times which have tried the souls of men, and women, and anybody else who might have attempted to journey in a motor vehicle from Point A to Point B in Union County.</p><p class="p1">Point A, in this case, would be metropolitan Anna land. Point B would be the county seat of the County of Union, as in Jonesboro, home of our nifty new courthouse and the home of a legendary debate involving a short guy named Stephen A. Douglas and some other fellow whose name escapes me.</p><p class="p1">And you could even throw in a Point C, which, in my case, is a little village named after a British politician who was partial to corn and railroads way back in the day.</p><p class="p1">Motoring from Point A to Point B became a challenge, at best, thanks to road patching work which got underway a couple of weeks ago.</p><p class="p1">The work started with little, if any, fanfare, on a Monday morning. Sure, there were a slew of those nifty portable, orange, blinking signal signs which warned us to "EXPECT DELAYS," which, as it turns out, was somewhat of an understatement.</p><p class="p1">Suddenly, though, in the midst of the first-day-of-the-work-week morning commute and back-to-school silliness, approximately 4 billion cars were brought to a dead standstill on the hill between Point A, being Anna, and Point B, being Jonesboro. </p><p class="p1">We understand that some people are in vehicles which are still trying to make it to work, or school, from the morning of September 14. Search and rescue crews are on duty, bringing breakfast Hot Pockets to those in need.</p><p class="p1">Some folks figured out a way to miss the silliness on the hill by heading west on Illinois Route 146, turning right on Kratzinger Hollow Road, motoring through the countryside back to old U.S. Route 51, and then easing our way into Anna. Others chose the New U.S. Route 51 International Speedway option. </p><p class="p1">Well, the Traffic Gods decided they would show us. They decided that work needed to be done on old U.S. Route 51, too. Goodbye, Kratzinger Hollow Road alternate route. If you were determined to use old U.S. Route 51 to get from Point C to Point A, well, you were pretty much up Clear Creek without a paddle.</p><p class="p1">That was when I decided to try another way to get from Point C to Point A.</p><p class="p1">I got out my trusty (insert Name of Company Which Provides Us With Insurance Coverage, as Long as We Keep Paying a Monthly Premium on Time) Road Atlas. This company is very nice to us, kind of like Mr. Rogers. The company says we are their neighbor. By the way, did you know that some people actually still use a Road Atlas in the 21st century?</p><p class="p1">Anyway, with the help of the Road Atlas, I was able to determine a new way to get around Trafficjamarammageddon (please do not try this at home):</p><p class="p1">Go to Skyline Drive. Drive north on Illinois Route 127, all the way to Interstate 55. Travel to Bloomington/Normal. Pick up Interstate 39. Go north. Motor to U.S. Route 51 in northern Wisconsin, thence to Ironwood. From there, go east on U.S. Route 2 in Michigan. Motor to U.S. Route 2/141. Then to U.S. Route 8/141 south. Then U.S. Route 41/141 south, through Green Bay. See if you can get a ticket to the Packers' next home game. Stay for game. Get back in car. Pick up Interstate 43. Go south. Go to Interstate 94. Keep going south. Go to Interstate 57. Keep going south. All the way to Illinois Route 146. Take Illinois Route 146 to Anna. Go to Market Street in Anna. Wait for the train to go through. The train will probably be moving at about 6 miles an hour. Listen to "Inna Gadda da Vida." Remember why you really don't like that song. Go to East Davie Street. You're on your own, now.</p><p class="p1">The good thing is that if you actually were to make this journey, by the time you got back, the work on the roads should be finished. And Christmas likely would have come and gone, too, so you wouldn't have to work about finding just the right gift for your picky grandmother. </p><p class="p1">Adding to the get from Point A to Point B adventure: Tree Trimapalooza was underway. If you were really lucky, you could get stuck in Trafficjamarammageddon and Tree Trimapalooza, too.</p><p class="p1">I guess the only thing that could have made the adventure an even bigger adventure would have been a parade through the heart of downtown Anna...or, maybe a freight train which came to a complete stop in such a way as to block crossings on Brady Mill Road, Market Street, Green Street and Spring Street...</p><p class="p1">Just so you know: by the time I done writ this, the road work was all done did and traffic was back to normal, whatever that is. So, never mind.</p><p class="p2"> </p>



A freight train makes its way through Union County, oblivious to the possibility of getting stuck in a traffic jam, and, possibly, being the catalyst for tying up motorists who are trying to get from Point A to Point B, or maybe even Point C.


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