Please read this...Whine, whine, whine. . .and then some more
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<p class="p1">Dear Mother Nature,</p><p class="p1">You win.</p><p class="p1">I give up.</p><p class="p1">By the way, can I just call you Mom?</p><p class="p1">The last time I looked, the weather soothsayers were calling for a low temperature of 8 degrees this morning. EIGHT DEGREES!!!!</p><p class="p1">Even better, we might get some more ice and snow and whatever other forms of frozen precipitation you might have up your sleeve. Maybe something like those "slurpee" waves in Massachusetts. Nice touch, Mom. </p><p class="p1">Mom, have you looked at the calendar? It's March, for goodness sake. Daylight Saving Time begins this weekend. Spring starts in a couple of weeks.</p><p class="p1">EIGHT DEGREES!!!!. I'm tired of 8 degrees.</p><p class="p1">Mom, I'm tired of winter storm warnings. I'm tired of winter weather advisories. I'm tired of snow and sleet and freezing rain.</p><p class="p1">I'm tired of seeing the words "significant snow accumulations possible." I'm tired of online weather maps which are more colorful than a rainbow.</p><p class="p1"> I'm tired of shoveling snow. I'm tired of having cold fingers. I'm tired of the clunky boots I wear to keep my feet dry. I'm tired of wearing long underwear.</p><p class="p1">I'm tired of dripping the water at night in all of our faucets so they don't freeze. I'm tired of wondering whether the drain in the shower in our upstairs bathroom will continue to function properly after yet another night of single-digit temperatures.</p><p class="p1">I'm tired of my car being buried under snow and ice and freezing shut. I'm tired of finally getting into my car, putting the vehicle in gear and just listening to the tires screech as they spin and spin and spin. If I'm lucky, I actually start moving. That gives me a chance to get stuck.</p><p class="p1">I'm tired of looking outside and seeing various shades of white and brown, or whatever colors naked trees display during the winter.</p><p class="p1">I'm tired of weather prognosticators telling me that it's cold outside. I know it's cold outside. I've been outside.</p><p class="p1">I'm tired of opening the refrigerator and seeing palm trees, 'cause it's warmer in the fridge than it is in my kitchen.</p><p class="p1">I'm tired of putting a chunk of frozen ground beef out to thaw on Saturday morning and still waiting for it to thaw by Tuesday night.</p><p class="p1">I'm tired of birds begging me to buy them plane tickets so they can fly someplace where it's warm.</p><p class="p1">I'm tired of not being able to take a good book out on our front porch to read while attempting to stay awake while sitting in a nice, comfortable old chair.</p><p class="p1">I'm tired of being grumpy; but, gee Mom, we've had winter weather since November. </p><p class="p1">Mostly, Mom, I guess I'm tired of whining. It's just not pretty. </p><p class="p1">(By the way, Mom. Just out of curiosity: Does road kill age as well in the cold as it does in the summer heat?) </p><p class="p1">Mom, I guess I'm just tired of being tired. I'm going to take a nap. Until sometime in June or July. Hopefully, by then, the snow will be gone and my fingers will be warm. </p><p class="p1">Have a nice day, Mom. Can't wait to see what kind of surprises you've got coming for spring. By the way, spring is coming, isn't it?</p><p class="p2"> </p>